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Hollowspine

I'm Reading Comeeks

I dedicate this blog to comics in all forms, manga, autobio, superhero, art books, etc.  And of course, since I need a challenge, I've decided that I'll read and write (short) reviews for 365 comics during 2015.

Painkiller Lame

Painkiller Jane: The 22 Brides #1 - Jimmy Palmiotti, Juan Santacruz, Steve Mannion, Paul Mounts, Amanda Conner

From first page to last Painkiller Jane the 22 Brides was an epic wankfest.  In fact, it was all I could manage to flip through the pages without puking.

 

What was the story about?  Well, after the prologue I'd pretty much lost interest.  After all the first few pages tells the story of the 22 brides.  Women who enjoy sitting around if not completely naked at least from the waist up.  They are the 'brides' of the muscle bound unnamed king of somewhere (these details don't matter, obviously readers are more focused on the boobs adorning these pages rather than any story lines).  The evil king beats and abuses his 21 brides who take it, unable to fight back.  Finally he brings in bride number 22 and apparently this is the magic number of nubile women needed to take him down.  21 brides with knives, sickles, and garrotes is just one too few.  Once magical bride 22 came (apparently carrying a number of hidden weapons since they had to come from somewhere right?) the ladies felt secure enough to kill the evil king, without even getting dressed.  Still in their chain mail bikinis the women ride off into the night.  They now "belonged" to the 22nd bride.  Belonged?  I thought they dreamed of freedom?  Isn't that just trading one f-ed up situation for another?

 

Anyway, that's just the prologue.  Don't worry guys, modern women still love to wear bikinis AT ALL TIMES.  As we see from the rest of the comic which I didn't bother reading.  Flip through the pages.  Painkiller Jane apparently lives in a penthouse with a bunch of similarly skinny, busty, bikini enthusiasts.  They fight crime in hot pants!

 

Buildings explode, Jane and her fellow lady's shirts are all torn off, somehow!  I know, let's take a communal shower!  Girl Power!  Boobs are shaken.  "Why do we keep the pent house so cold, guuuyyyysss?"  Nipples are always on high alert.

 

Women should be able to wear whatever they want, without being subjected to cat calls or ridiculous statements such as "she's just asking for it."  I believe that.  However, if one plans to be jumping from planes, investigating crimes or...I don't know being involved in gun play...one should think anyone would opt for proper shoes, bullet proof vests and panties that didn't ride up one's ass giving one a visible "whale tail?"  Just a thought.  Also, why did none, not even one, of these girls differ in their tastes.  Not every woman, no matter her figure, feels comfortable in bikinis, hot pants, tube tops and up the butt panties.

 

Also, "Stop being a pussy?"  Come on Jane, shouldn't you be a bit more conscious of feminism than that?  Oh, yeah, that's right, you are not a woman, you are just a fantasy of a woman made by a man to serve men.  Useless and sickening.

 

Art, was ok for superhero crap.  Most art in the book was by men.  Amanda Conner did a great job, best art in the whole thing, for some covers.  Why the hell wasn't she doing the whole thing?  Her depictions of the characters had some diversity, whereas it's obvious the other artists concentrated mostly on boobs and butts with the same face every time (the expressions no doubt taken from "adult videos.")

 

This was horrible, I'll never "read" it again.